I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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