I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize