How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Randomize
