I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
I did not marry a roomba.
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