question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
Randomize
