Non-Jews are for practice
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
Randomize