Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
there was a trapeze. enough said
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
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