im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
Randomize
