haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
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