I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
Randomize
