So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Randomize
