i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
Randomize
