Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
I'm getting married
To pizza
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
Randomize
