He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
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Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
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