I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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