I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
Randomize
