Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
no. you can't hotbox the world.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
Are my feet made of real feet?
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
