Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Randomize
