are you so shy because you have an std?
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
Randomize
