i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
I queefed so loud it echoed.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Randomize
