I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
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