She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
I wish life had little blips of pornography
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
