the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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