yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
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