Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
don't judge my taste in strippers
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
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