Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
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