Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
Randomize
