and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
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