Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
Randomize
