i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
You are a booty call, not a friend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
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