I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
You can't special order awesome
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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