how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
Randomize
