im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
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