Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
Randomize
