Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
Randomize
