I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
