I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
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