His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
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okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
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Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
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