I must be too annoying 4 u.
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
Randomize
