even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
I am midnight drunk by noon
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
