Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
Randomize