I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
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