she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
another moral hangover. fuck.
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
Randomize
