i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
Randomize
