My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
Randomize
