that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Randomize
