i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
Randomize
