Michael Bay diarrhea
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
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