I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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