I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Randomize
