i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
