It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Randomize
