yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
