I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
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