that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
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